Blamed to empathy

I hung my head in shame

With each passing day

I succumb to oblivion

Numbness to the core

I feel the shivers on my spine

Branching into madness

Its hard to hold tight

The lights have dozed out

Inhaling darkness with every hour

The void is yet to come

In strange humourless sarcasm i shriek

Those feelings ,I recall

Assorted spasms of joy and affection

Of timeless laughter

So stupefying in its splendor

The butterflies have gone

Corpse bodies like me

The memories are bleak

Nothing to lose nor to hold

The chuckle is coarse

Wounded my heart lay,

It's just a stingy scar

Marred from a catastrophic plight

They said I was brave

I got what I fought for

Or was just plain old lucky

Cos things always came to me

So I never shed a tear

Not in their front nor at their backs

Every dawn I masked a new smile

And covered the eyes with senseless pride

Every dusk

I repeated the ghastly night

Having countless conversations in my head

Trying to mend my damaged soul

For I always believed

It would all end like a bad dream

a disastrous performance nearing the finish line

And I would wake up to glory

I t felt nice

For those bleak moments

To just live in the false pretence

That nothing had changed

I never knew it slipped

Hanging my existence in the frail thread of hope

The madness that incapacitated me

Was simply beyond my control

And just then I suddenly knew

For better or for worse

It will all be over

Either me or the wound ,one had to lose

And I don't know why

God had changed his mind

It was I who survived that day

And I didn't know what to feel

Was it good or bad

I still have no clue

But in due course

I was glad I had won

Still,in some dark lonely nights

When I'm about to lay my head

Its hard to believe

It happened to me